The Book

I’m writing a book.

It called ‘So, Your Parents Are Dead…’, and it will be available in the Fall of 2026.

I describe it as a non-self-help non-guide for dealing with one of the worst things that can happen to us as an adult - the death of a parent.

What is it?

I lost my mom 17 years ago after a year long battle with lung cancer. We were very close. I lost my dad suddenly six years ago. We hadn’t seen each other in six months, and had struggled to understand each other for 40 years. Two very different relationships and ways to go. Both deaths kicked my ass, and I’m not really over either of them yet. I’m basically a living lab for this stuff.

This book is what I wish I had been given when my mom died. It’s full of stories, questions, a few answers hopefully, and reassurances that all you are feeling is real, and that you aren’t nearly as crazy as you may feel. It’s not going to be a paper cheerleader. It will be decidedly short of platitudes. I am not a grief professional. I’m just a guy who has learned some things, and has realized how much I don’t know. And I want to share that with you.

Why am I writing it?

There is a musician I have seen in concert nearly 50 times and I really admire. His name is Kris Demeanor. He wrote an album called ‘Songs for my father to fall asleep to’, which was essentially an album of lullabies to help his now-deceased father fall asleep when he was sick. It’s a gut punch of an album. Sadness squared. We were at a concert a while back where Kris was performing the album and telling the stories that had led to it. It was an indescribably powerful show. And as I sat there watching it I saw this book come to life in front of my eyes. It gave me no choice - it was being written.

I have been lucky enough to get to know Kris a little bit. After the show I wrote him to thank him, and to curse his name. I still feel that way - this is the best and worst project that has ever attached itself to me.

What’s the book like?

I could describe it, but instead I’ll just show you a chapter. That seems easier, doesn’t it?

This is the closest to a final draft I have right now. It’s kind of an introduction or prologue. Really it’s just a story, and an explanation. You can grab it here.

What should I do now?

Grab the preview chapter. Look for the weekly edition of the Dead Parents Digest here on Substack. Send me any questions or thoughts or ideas you have. Take care of yourself. And try to contain your excitement for the fall of 2026 when you can get your hands on your own copy.